Dear family and friends,
OVERVIEW/SPIRITUAL THOUGHT
This week was a really successful week, even though it was also a really hard week. I'm really thankful for what an exceptional example my trainer sets for me because even though she has dealt with a lot of the same exact problems that I'm having; she has gotten through them and only has 3.5 months left in her mission. She is such an inspiration for me because she helps me to know that I can do it if I am patient with myself, find joy in the work, and realize that perfection is something we have an entire lifetime to attain. Last night, we did our weekly planning because we had missed it on Thursday due to THE FULLEST DAY EVER (meaning we ate both lunch and dinner in the car and had appointments from 1 until 9), and when we did companion inventory we just laughed and laughed and laughed and it was like the best thing in the world; because her and I both have this problem where we'll get too serious and too hard on ourselves (though me more than her most of the time, because as perhaps can be expected, missionary work is really bringing out the perfectionist inside of me) and just as one of the grandpa's in the ward reminded us "laughter IS the best medicine", and sometimes we have to find a way to laugh-- even about the hard things. ex. Hna Lindsey joke sample no. 1 "You know you have a problem when the butterflies in your stomach turn into GIANT BATS." My companion laughed so hard at that. In fact, she thought it was so funny, that she laughed again this morning about it for like 5 minutes. haha. Oh man. ANYWAYS. It's funny because her and I have made standard several weeks, and we've had three baptisms, and somehow we're still stressed out and unhappy with ourselves a lot of the time (again me more than her obviously because I'm the greenie and haven't gotten used to having to deal with the perfectionism inducing stress of the mission...)....last night we were mostly just laughing about HOW RIDICULOUS THAT IS and how much we just need to "CHILL" and have a good time. I mean obviously we still need to be super diligent, but we don't need to-- and in fact CANNOT let that good quality turn into a bad one that has the potential power to ruin peoples' lives. Because perfectionism, though on the surface may appear to be a good thing, often leads to bad things like constant feelings of guilt and constant thoughts of self-deprecation. And GOLDEN LIGHTBULB MOMENT NOW LISTEN UP, I have realized (once again, but more profoundly) that those thoughts do not come from God; they come from Satan. The devil is the one that wants us to feel like we are worthless and that we never get anywhere and that we can never change. The devil is the one that leads us to feel overwhelmed and to focus on the wrong things. The devil is the one that leads us to live in "the downward spiral" (as Ben Zander calls it). And most importantly what I have realized is that, if we live like that-- always mad at ourselves, always feeling guilty for silly things like forgetting to write down someone's phone number or putting it in the wrong place, and never EVER EVER celebrating our successes or acknowledging that we have done ANYTHING GOOD for the Lord on our missions/in our lives; if we live like that-- we are not having faith in the Savior's atonement. THE WHOLE POINT OF THE ATONEMENT is that we don't have to be perfect RIGHT NOW TODAY. THE WHOLE POINT is that we can use it whenever we want, all day long, to get better and to become more like our Heavenly Father. And yes, feeling bad about something we do wrong is part of the repentance process-- but it DOES NOT NEED TO LAST A SUPER LONG TIME, and in fact-- IT SHOULDN'T. In Jorg Kleingbat's AWESOME talk in general conference that I cited last week, he talks about the importance of repenting quickly/efficiently so that we do not have to feel great pain. Something I've realized too is that repenting quickly means forgiving ourselves quickly because forgiving ourselves is a VERY IMPORTANT PART of the repentance process!!! I've been learning a lot about that, about forgiveness of self; because just as you can't work very well if you are constantly mad at others, it is perhaps even harder if you are always mad at yourself! Anyways, the chest pain seems to be getting a LITTLE better, and I have been able to eat some normal meals so that is cool. I have been talking to the nurse and making plans to potential see both physical doctors and some kind of counselor so hopefully I can get to doing both of those things so that I can heal more quickly, though I have realized that a big part of this will be waiting/having the patience to be healed in the Lord's time and in the Lord's way. I have to be patient with the fact that life DOES have trials and challenges, and I have been learning A LOT about that... Oh and also, I got a priesthood blessing for this yesterday and I put off asking for one because I HATE feeling like I am inconveniencing other humans in order to deal with a problem that I have, and I generally don't like to ask for anything; but my companion is a big believer in using priesthood blessings for our benefit and so she helped me to get over being freaked out (and frankly, prideful/overly self independent) about it and we called the spanish elders and got one done yesterday in between our two dinners (theirs and ours...). I think I did it in the least inconvenient way possible, and besides I was really super duper grateful because in the blessing I was told a lot of things I really needed to hear, mostly about God being happy with me and how my service is incredibly worthwhile. So putting my two cents in, priesthood blessings are really a wonderful gift we have and ESPECIALLY as girls, I think it is important for us to ask for priesthood blessings when we really need help because it will help us to really recognize that the priesthood IS for EVERYONE, and not just for the people that hold the keys. Getting that blessing definitely helped me with my testimony of the priesthood, especially because there is absolutely NO WAY ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH that the Elder who gave me the blessing could have known that I needed to hear all those things, but God did, and so He made sure that that Elder told me what I needed to hear, even though he had no information to work with himself...
TEN REALLY GREAT THINGS THAT HAPPENED
1. We got an atheist to admit that she is CURIOUS to know if there is a God or not
2. We got into a less actives house that we have been trying for MY ENTIRE TIME IN CA THUS FAR AND BEFORE THAT, and in so doing took on two new investigators, one of which is the girl above... we did this by baking cookies for them (fun tip, if all else fails, BRING PEOPLE FOOD!)
3. We picked up a new investigator who is an INCREDIBLY ENTHUSIASTIC man with a huge parrot, and then we got to hang out with his parrot a little tiny bit at the end of the lesson. Believe me, I will never forget telling the story of Joseph Smith's first vision and suddenly being interrupted by a very large parrot suddenly screaming for food... (also fun fact, don't know if other missionaries experience this but EVERY SINGLE TIME I TELL THE JOSEPH SMITH STORY I GET INTERRUPTED, and I feel like it's a small sign of opposition in the work and I just find that interesting...obviously it's important if weird things like parrots are always getting in the way-- cause goodness knows stuff gets in the way of the important things
4. we ALSO picked up the son of a potential we've been trying a lot...HE CAME TO CHURCH YESTERDAY! :D We went over to his house to check and see if he was going (for church at 9 in the morning) and he was already all ready and all dressed up and we had only had ONE real lesson with him...HOW COOL IS THAT???
5. we've been finding a lot....so, we also picked up the daughter of the man with the parrot. She's going to be a little bit complicated to teach logistically because she goes back and forth between two houses, but she is awesome and really, really, REALLY ready for the message...
6. Oh also the man who is the boyfriend of one of the less actives came to church as well, with his eldest daughter. So that was awesome! :) He dressed up too, which was great because then everyone we had at church was well-dressed/well-prepared, which rarely ever happens.... (no matter how much you might talk about it...)
7. one of our recent converts, Elizabeth, BOUGHT US BOOTS, which is SUCH A HUGE BLESSING because it's been getting super cold...besides they are ROCKING BOOTS and we love them. Now we get to be twins too like, everyday haha :P Also we talked to them about doing F.H.E and they are going to do it on Saturday every week and they've invited us to share a little message at their first one this week so that makes me SUPER happy. They're becoming such strong members!!
8. haha ok, so with our other recent convert, she invited us over for lunch this week so we went and she made us AMAZING tamales (that by some miracle, I was able to actually eat) (by the way, I LOVE tamales, as an unexpected fun fact about Hna Lindsey, they are actually SO YUMMY!!!), and she was all super concerned about these conspiracy theories. Because my companion is awesome, we brought it right to the holy ghost and related it to her recent confirmation and how she can be safe because the holy ghost warns against danger, and how God will also bring her comfort through the Holy Ghost. It is amazing just how much everything is ultimately related to/solved by some aspect of the gospel...
9. THIS WEEK MY COMPANION TAUGHT ME TO PLAY SOCCER AND I PLAYED SOCCER WITH HER AND THE ELDERS. WHAT.
10. we deep cleaned our apartment on the first day of the year during our study time because apparently they do that every year. I might make it a personal tradition when I get home. It felt SO GOOD!!! And also, it was nice to take out my perfectionism on physical things. (I mean I cleaned out the door runners and the refrigerator so, we kinda went crazy...it was AWESOME haha :P
Conference talks of the week (that hopefully KIND OF go with my spiritual message), both from Dieter F. Uchtdorf:
Grateful in Any Circumstance https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng
Continue in Patience https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/04/continue-in-patience?lang=eng
and then of course, I'll re-attach that gem from Jorg Kleingbat:
All right guys, have an amazing week and remember you are all children of God and that God loves you so so much and that you don't need to worry a lot or think you're not super great.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
HUGS
Hna Lindsey