Dear family and friends,
I hope that the new year has brought you hope. Something I have realized about hope recently-- and honestly, faith too, because hope is very related to faith-- is that it constantly needs to be renewed. There will always be people and things to break our hearts. There will always be the failures that were practically unpreventable. There will always be the days that feel like really bad dreams. But I guess one of the tests of life, is that AFTER that happens-- AFTER we get our hearts broken and our bodies beat up and we've lost the fight-- we have to STILL BELIEVE we can win the next one. I guess a lot of missionary work is about that-- it's about constantly rekindling your faith and your hope after getting your heart broken over and over again by people that just aren't ready yet, and/or by people that are just far too satisfied making the wrong choices. The world is a hard place to live in these days-- wars and conspiracies and shootings and bombings on the large scale; then abuse and discrimination on the 2nd tier; and then on the lower scale level of problems there will always be unkindness, unfairness, lack of love. Faith-- faith is believing that in spite of all of those things; there is a world more beautiful than the one that we have waiting for us-- if we WORK FOR IT. Faith is believing that God will prevail in the end. That the injustice and cruelty of the world that we live in will ultimately be what falls-- and not the other way around. Faith is believing that WE CAN make a difference in all of that. But also, at the end of the day-- we have to have patience. Because as Mother Theresa once said;
"We can not do great things. We can only do small things with great love."
In terms of what's actually happening here, we're getting a little 9 year old boy for baptism and teaching him is one of the coolest experiences. I kind of plan on teaching all my kids all the missionary lessons before baptism now too, because then I think they will understand so much more before they make that crucial lifetime commitment! Other than that, we are doing a lot of finding. We have a couple of families that I love very deeply that we are working with that we hope will progress, but it is likely we will have to drop them. I think in those moments on what the stake president said in my setting apart-- that I would continue pursuing people and not give up on them. It's hard though because missionaries are very geared towards dropping people when they are not progressing and finding the "elect" people; which in certain ways makes sense. But I know part of the reason God sent me here is because I would fight for those people that need a little bit more. We're working with quite a few people suffering from mental health issues, and as would make sense, that makes it very hard for them to keep commitments. But hopefully I can get them to fight for their lives AND FOR THE GOSPEL so that we can keep bringing them more happiness and light in their lives. But then again-- when someone you love bangs the door in your face? You still have to leave them.... at least when you are a missionary.
Scripture of the week: "In your patience possess ye your souls" Luke 21:19
I love you all so much, more than you could ever know. Take care of yourselves, and stay strong to the faith, even when the world gives you so many reasons to lose hope.
xoxo
Hermana Lindsey