Dear friends and family,
OVERVIEW/LESSON OF THE WEEK
This week was INCREDIBLE. My companion and I had this talk during companion inventory in which we decided that I need to be more confident and share more and take charge more; because I had been holding back as the junior companion-- mostly following suit, rather than taking initiative. TO MAKE THIS SO POSSIBLE/NECESSARY God had me go on exchanges and "take over the area", something that apparently "greenies" (or "sprouts" as we are now supposed to be called instead) don't do very often. LET ME JUST TELL YOU IT WAS LIKE THE MOST FUN DAY OF MY ENTIRE MISSION. We just went wherever I wanted and saw whoever I wanted to see all day. And at the end of the day we had 6 lessons, one of which was one of the most intense experiences of my life-- and one of the best. Basically, we have an investigator we started working with a few weeks ago that originally we didn't know the gender of. We couldn't tell if they were a girl or a boy because they dressed like a boy and had super short hair, but they had slightly feminine facial features and their name was most likely female. We were guessing female, but weren't sure. Long story short, earlier this week we figured out it was a girl; and I started to make the realization (based on all the many previous experiences I had with people at Walnut Hill and NYU) that this woman was probably a lesbian, or a bisexual. HM. This was another moment where I knew that God had sent me to this person for a reason-- or that,in other words, not many other people could teach her with the sensitivity and consideration for differences necessary. Now, here comes the crazy thing I did on the day of exchanges. We had decided, based on the possibility of her being of a different sexuality, that we should probably teach The Law of Chastity fairly early on. And when making plans for that day, I decided to plan in that lesson. We role played it in the morning, and decided that the best way to teach it would be to focus on her identity as a unique daughter of God, and on the beautiful promise of eternal life with a stable family. She has hardly ever had a father figure in her life, and based on the way Freudian psychology works (and I know he didn't get everything right but nontheless..) I kind of extrapilated that her negative experiences and male neglect, along with her closeness to her mother; probably had led her to a huge distrust of men, and a preference to women. And so we decided to focus on the positives. The positive blessings that she could gain from following this law. And the love that her Heavenly Father has always felt for her, even if her earthly father has never ever been there. When we got to her house-- she wasn't there, and her mom said she was at the park. We went straight over to the park as fast as we could to find her and thanks to the grace of God she was there. This lesson was literally one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I never, ever in a million years had imagined that I would be teaching The Law of Chastity to a lesbian and that it would be a good experience. I had a hard time, in high school, understanding what problem my church had with people of different sexualities marrying who they wanted to marrying and loving who they wanted to love. I honestly didn't personally understand my own take on it-- so whenever anyone asked about it, I explained that God loved people perfectly and unconditionally and that even though people had to be married to someone of the OPPOSITE gender to get into the celestial kingdom, I was sure that they would make it to one of the other ones and that as they were such amazing wonderful people, surely they wouldn't go to Hell and besides my church doesn't believe in Hell, it believes in Outer Darkness and only SUPER DUPER wicked people go there. I was SO HAPPY after all my struggles with this topic internally and externally, that I was able to explain to this poor, beautiful girl that God wanted something more for her than she had had growing up; and that even though it's hard and sometimes it doesn't make sense, God created women and men to work TOGETHER and not apart. I talked with her about what kind of family she wanted to have, and what she wanted for her children. She sometimes has a hard time staying serious for the whole lesson cause she is super funny and has a great sense of humor but this lesson she was super serious and focused and she gave us all her attention and at one point we almost made her cry. I told my companion the next day when she came back that "I feel like God has been preparing me to teach Investigator X my entire life" (I've decided I will make all investigators anonymous in my emails from now on to maintain privacy) and it was just the most amazing experience. About a year and a half ago Investigator X broke off a lesbian relationship in which she put in way more than the other person, and the other person had basically used her and created a whole lot of unnecessary drama in her life. Investigator X has such a big heart that I can totally see how that would have happened to her, though it just breaks my heart. Recently this woman (the woman she was in a relationship) got in a car accident in which she damaged half her back, and Investigator X missed church because she was trying to take care of her. To explain how messy this situation really is, let me just say that the ex-girlfriend of Investigator X is MARRIED. Poor girl. Anyways, in the closing prayer, Investigator X asked that she would be able to leave all of the drama behind and that she would be able to move on with her life and start fresh with this new baptism. (in that lesson we also put her on date for the 4th of January). I really cannot explain to you how special that lesson was for me. It's funny-- I never imagined that I would gain a testimony of marriage and eternal families on my mission, considering that I wouldn't be living with a family and that I wouldn't be in any kind of relationship with any male human in any shape or form-- but, I can testify that I do. I have that testimony. I don't know all things, but I know that God created families in a certain way for a certain reason; and though I would NEVER EVER be ok with anyone making anyone else feel bad about their sexuality as it has come to be throughout their life; I do now for sure believe in eternal families. Now what that means in terms of what God is trying to prepare me for, I really don't want to know because I'm still planning on being in school for like 5-6 years before I even attempt to tie the knot with ANYONE HOWEVER, all may be at peace. Hna Lindsey, the previously cold-hearted, walled-off, potentially eterna-single persona; now apparently believes in eternal marriage. Ok woah. Moving on! OTHER AWESOME MOMENT OF THE WEEK-- she came to church for all three hours and she LOVED it. She met a bunch of people and they were super nice and NON-JUDGEMENTAL which was THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD. Side note-- many years ago, Investigator X came to church and people made her feel uncomfortable by treating her badly and making fun of her. I BETTER NOT HERE OF THAT EVER HAPPENING TO ANYONE AGAIN. OUR MAIN GOAL AS MORMONS SHOULD BE TO SHOW PEOPLE CHRIST LIKE LOVE. ALWAYS. NO MATTER WHAT.
Ok so that obviously isn't everything that happened or everyone that we are working with but working with Investigator X I can honestly say has been one of the best experiences of my life. I have felt God's love for her and as I have studied for her, I have grown myself. And teaching her that lesson when on exchanges was just AWESOME. My companion was SO PROUD. Now I know I've been awful about doing top ten, but I did give some stories in there. Since I've been so bad on top ten, I'll update you guys on who we are teaching. Everybody will get a letter, except J and E because I'm pretty sure I already told you guys about them.
Ok so
J and E-- GETTING BAPTIZED THIS WEEK!!! :D They are awesome. They have no problems with any of the commandments and they read together every single night in the book of mormon and they pray together. Only problem is they can't go to all three hours of church because E's Dad is blind and has a dialysis so they have to babysit him and their daughter can only babysit him for that one hour on sunday. We were SUPER HUMBLED when we figured out that was why...
Investigator A-- Is suffering from depression and feelings of suicide. Is having trouble in his marriage with his wife, and is trying to make up for something he did. Suffers feelings of guilt. We have been teaching him a lot about the atonement, about the repentance process, and I have been talking with him about how my faith helped me overcome my own depression. We haven't quite been able to put him on date yet, we are trying to be sensitive and not stress him out considering how much emotional stress he is under right now. I don't know about my companion, but my first priority with him is helping preserve his life.
Investigator B-- Is a single mother of 8, whose husband died in a car crash last January. We have been teaching her about the plan of salvation and about how families can live together forever. She was going to get baptized on January 4th, but she missed church. We are still definitely going to keep working with her though and I pray we won't have to drop her because this would bless her life SO SO SO SO SO MUCH. We brought a really sweet member over named Hermana Jeronimo and she was super helpful. She rocked her baby the whole time so Investigator A could focus on the lesson. AH PEOPLE ARE SO BEAUTIFUL I JUST CAN'T HANDLE IT
Investigator C-- Is a truck driver who took lessons before. His wife works in plastic wear at night and at Carl's Junior during the day. They have 3 or 4 kids. His wife is super busy and super Catholic, we are worried he won't progress much until she gets involved so we are trying to schedule a lesson with the both of them.
and then of course Investigator X, who has been our main concern this past week, besides of course J and E who are getting baptized! We are super excited! And I'm not stressed about this baptism (at least not yet) so that is great.
Ok SPIRITUAL THOUGHT
comes from D&C "The worth of souls is great in the sight of God". This week I have learned a lot about that. For myself and for others. Here I was thinking I just needed to follow my companion like a sheep, when in fact, we have had way more success as I have begun to act more proactively. God didn't call me here to be a sheep that just followed a rote plan. God planned me for MY TESTIMONY, MY EXPERIENCES, MY PASSION FOR THE GOSPEL AND FOR MISSIONARY WORK, and God needed ME. Therefore, the more I put into this-- the more investigators we find, the more investigators we keep, and most importantly-- THE MOST SOULS WE SAVE. I cannot tell you-- I cannot express to you-- how much I love these investigators. I thought it wasn't possible for me to love people as much as I loved my friends back home but as I have worked with these people, I have come to love them as much-- or even more. I can't wait to see what happens with all of them!!! And to teach them all about how special they are to God! AH! It just makes me feel this small piece of how many people God loves and how much He loves them and it just.......it's like my horizons are opening and I can see the incredible, unconditional, incomprehendible love that was always there and I THOUGHT I understood.....it's so unexplainable. I think I would have to play a symphony to explain how it feels. Maybe I'll write one or something.
All right champs, Christmas is coming up. Give people your heart. Give people your love. But most importantly give them-- or rather, show them-- God's love- because that is what they really need.
I love you all so, so much; and I'm definitely going to miss you on Christmas, but let me tell you-- this is the best Christmas season of my life; because it is the first time I have been able to do nothing but give my heart. I know that people are sending me things because my family is awesome, but that's not what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about the Savior-- and trying to be more like him, and in so doing-- I am learning how to really love people with all of my heart and give them everything I have. And you know what-- it really honestly gives me the warm fuzzies every day. Obviously it's hard when people don't listen and the other day I threw my heart at a guy who joined the church and then hasn't been in months and I cried and motioned my hands everywhere and made his eyes get all big and scared and understanding that I was serious and then he still said he wouldn't come to church but the thing is If you put your heart out there every single day all the way-- the people you will ultimately remember are not the people like him, but the people like Investigator X. The people that made it all worth it....
And with that, Have a wonderful week everybody and to all whom this applies-- GOOD LUCK ON FINALS I AM SURE YOU WILL ROCK THEM!!!
I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!
xoxoxox
Hermana Lindsey