Hi everybody!
OVERVIEW
My heart is so full this week. I feel that I could not possibly express how thankful I am for those of you who keep in touch with me so well, and send me such strong support from afar, it really means a lot to me! Also, I have had such a spiritual testimony strengthening week, I cannot wait to share some of my insights with you! It is funny how when I left on a mission everybody told me I would change, and I did not believe them. But after being in the CCM for only 3 weeks, I can now see how even JUST THOSE FEW DAYS have changed my life FOREVER. It is hard to explain how it happens exactly, because it is the sum total of hours of classes everyday, but I know now for sure that though I went on a mission for others-- perhaps the person that will change is myself. And as Elder Bednar said in a devotional we watched last week, perhaps the most oxymoronical part of that is that I will change for the better and become a better person specificially BECAUSE I will be focusing on others, and not on myself. Being a Sister Training Leader has been the absolute biggest blessing in my life. The first week, as I expressed, my companion and I really focused too much on ourselves. We focused on how we could not understand the language, how we were having trouble adjusting to mexico and how we did not understand how we could be successful missionaries. Granted, the hard work we put in because of that stress is one of the major reasons we are really starting to get the language now-- BUT this amazing thing happened as soon as we became STL'S. WE STOPPED FOCUSING ON OURSELVES. And let me tell you, EVERY SINGLE GOOD THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME IN THE CCM SINCE, has been because of that. This week a girl in our casa got a concussion, and she came to us seeking some help. Just as an illustration of how selfless and beautiful and wonderful all the girls I live with are, let me tell you what happened. RIGHT AWAY they began to serve her. My companion loves essential oils so she "lathered her up" as she puts it, and then Hmn Rutherford starting massaging her hands and feet. I had just gotten out of the bathroom from brushing my teeth so I asked what I could do to help. Hmn Bjork suggested I play the violin because Hmn Bates *the girl with the concussion* LOVES when I play violin. I played her A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief and she sat there crying in the chair, so grateful for what we were doing. Already the spirit was SO SO strong, but after that, at 10:15 I had to stop playing the violin for quiet time, so we decided to sing. Hmn Hellawell and I sang Abide with Me Tis Eventide and that is when I started to cry. When the girls from all the other rooms in our casa started coming in and joining us on both the soprano, and then the alto part, I can honestly say I have never felt the spirit so strong in my life. Music is such a powerful healing tool and I have come to appreciate it more and more on my mission, if only for its rarity, though I have used it WAY more than I thought I would. But what really touched me, is how Christlike all those girls are. I was standing all amazed at the love Jesus offered me by giving me such deeply beautiful and wonderful people to live with. I was saying the other day I might have to move to Utah just so I can live with the majority of them after my mission!! haha...though maybe I can convert some of them to the east coast. haha...who knows! and now that leads me to
MY SPIRITUAL LIGHTBULB MOMENT
Ok so above I guess was the moment. But more than that, my spiritual THOUGHT is this. Sunday, we had this amazing devotional with Jeffrey R. Holland (on the screen of course not in real life unfortunately haha) in which he talked about giving your whole soul to the work. That was when it really hit me why I was serving. I have had a lot of hard moments lately, because you are required to ask someone to be baptized by the 2nd visit. I may have mentioned this before because it is something I have a HUGE problem with. Mainly because, and my non member friends may laugh at this, there are people I have known for YEARS that I would not even dream of asking "Would you follow the Saviors example and be baptized one month from now?" haha, but what I realized the other day was....I have never led anyone to the waters of baptism. Here I was, thinking I knew better than everybody else, thinking I knew better than Preach My Gospel, thinking I knew better than my teachers and all the missionaries in the world, thinking I knew how to subtly get someone to get baptized a million years in the future and that that made more since. But what really hit me, as I was practicing memorizing that baptismal question in spanish is that... I have never baptized anyone. None of my friends have read the Book of Mormon all the way through because of me, and furthermore I have only taken my non member friends to church maybe 2 or 3 times. As Jeffrey R. Holland put it...if I ever want to be successful in bringing my friends or my investigators or ANYONE to the one most precious thing that I have....then I am going to have to "BE a little bold", I am going to have to "BE a little persistent". Now people may laugh at this, especially again my non member friends whom I love so dearly-- that was when I realized I did not need to forget about them, I needed to REMEMBER them. I needed to remember the times that my friends had asked me what happens after we die and the times my friends had told me they just did not understand how I could get over my trials or what made me so different than my friends. I needed to remember how grateful my friends were when I loved them or helped them or gave them a little piece of what I love so much and knew to be true. I needed to remember them because THEY are the reason I served this mission. Because at the end of the day, I am not what they need. What they truly need is the Savior. And I am getting all choked up as I write this, but that moment changed the rest of my mission I am sure. I was trying so hard to feel less, to be less empathetic, to be a more "normal" missionary. But what I needed to be was myself. What I needed to remember was MY life experience. I did not need to pretend to be what everybody else was. God sent me on this mission, and he wanted me to be ME not somebody else. As soon as I realized that, all my lessons changed and now even though they are fake investigators-- I am getting to know their needs and I am teaching lessons that are more specifically tailored to them. And every time I look in their eyes and tell them my testimony, I see the people I love. I see my friends from high school and from Killington and from Foulgers and from New York University and from Connecticut and from my trip around the world and I tell them--
"God loves you. God knows you. The Savior of the World atoned for your sins and for your trials and for your troubles and for everything awful about life and if you come unto Christ, not only will He make you clean-- He will make you TRULY happy."
In other words, I tell them everything I was always too afraid to say AS BOLDLY AS I NOW DO to all of my friends. And someday, I hope that that testimony will ring in their ears as well. But I want them all to know, how much I am serving this mission for them as well as for the people out here and I encourage anybody and everybody everywhere to read the book of mormon and pray about it because THAT IS WHY I AM OUT HERE and THAT IS WHY I AM SERVING A MISSION and THAT IS WHAT WILL HELP MORE THAN ANYTHING FROM ME. And that is all I have to say about that...
haha ok so since the whole email thus far has been super spiritual, I will make the top ten silly ones
1. Yesterday, my teacher Hermano Beltran told us all (in spanish) about a really funny dream he had about a guy who had chairs for arms that he had to fight to protect his pregnant wife. Apparently though, because he sleep walks he was actually in danger of bodily harming HER ironically enough....Thankfully he didnt. A little scary, but super funny and it was awesome that we could understand all of that in spanish hahaha...
2. Last night we played this game called "Samurai" in family home evening. SUPER funny hahah...though we did get a little loud for missionaries haha....
3. OH WAIT OK SO THIS ISNT A FUNNY ONE BUT I GAVE A TALK IN SPANISH ON SUNDAY AND PLAYED IN A DIFFERENT WARD RIGHT IN A ROW SO THAT WAS AWESOME AND CRAZY AND SUPER COOL haha...
4. oh, I have been giving Hmn Bjork "ballet lessons" on some of our gym days. little girls might appreciate that... it has been SUPER fun!!
5. Ok so I mentioned, but I am OBSESSED with a snack here called "chokis". Hermano Beltran yesterday during our five minute break did this thing where he would say "chokis" various times just to see what my facial expression was....believe me it was always a super happy oen. But then I was always disappointed when no actual chokis existed haha...also hahahahha he said that today he would through us tacos over the fence. Obviously joking cause it is not allowed but hahaha it was SO SO FUNNY...as you can see us missionaries get a little food crazed. This week I have really missed american food. I remember one day during our language class (we were learning past participles)....I just REALLY wanted PF Changs. So if you guys go...THINK OF ME WHILE YOU EAT IT...hahahhaha :P
6. ok also not a funny one but our other teacher Hermano Silva gave us a coaching one day and literally all he had to tell us was firstly that we didnt have to ask to tell stories and 2ndly that we needed to schedule a day to come back haha...BUT HE LOVED OUR CONTENT AND QUESTIONS AND EVERYTHING SO THAT WAS THE BEST
7. hahaha....oh dear so one day we all got really sick from the fish at dinner, but then one of the elders drew a picture of a fish on our board that had a quote in it that said " I dont feel so hot"-- everybody who ate the fish except Elder Tadje...ahha that was really funny. I love my district, they have a way of making lemonade out of lemoney moments...so that was pretty great...
8. ok so last P day hermana hellawell had an AMAZING birthday....hahahaha and the volleball game I mentioned went really well except for the fact that I pretty much always AVOIDED the ball rather than hitting it. Hhahaha but we did, as I guessed, make the elders laugh pretty hard so that was pretty great...
9. there is a girl in our casa who is from Hawaii and sings hymns in her native language while she showers. honestly there is no more beautiful sound in the entire world and we applaud her every night...
10. one day this week I got to pretend to be an investigator for an extensive period of time (we do it alot but this one was longer). I pretended to be somebody I knew really well and it was really powerful to me how well my companion taught this person. It made me think and hope that my friends can have such experience with missionaries in the future. I have a friend actually, in this branch, who is going to boston. Her name is Hermana Turner. If anybody meets her PLEASE DO LET ME KNOW! She is awesome. :)
All right guys, so I think that is it for now. I will be attaching pictures as a PS from another computer in JUST A FEW MINUTES if I can possibly manage it...
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!
XOXOXOXO
HMN LINDSEY